i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
