They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
