OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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