I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
