I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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