addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
