I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
