dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
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Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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