I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
