Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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