Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
