I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
