my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Never underestimate the power of titties
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