You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
