Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
