and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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