i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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