I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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