There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
