My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
