I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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