I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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