Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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