i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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