he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
