Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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