She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry about my life...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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