Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Randomize
