My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize