u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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