worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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