I wish I could teleport
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
