They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
