He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She swung at the pinata with crutches
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think people are normalizing furries
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize