Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
