Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
