this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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