i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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