we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
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I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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