i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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