I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
