i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You are the jesus of drinking
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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