So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
