I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
