I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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