I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
