I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
