Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
