Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
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Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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