My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
