During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
