Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
