So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
