I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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