Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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