It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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