why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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