We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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