I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
