Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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